There's no winning without mistakes "Most times!!"

Hello world, been a while yes? I've been busy doing all sorts of stuff but enough about me already, lets have a chat.

I'm compelled to ask, do you know any one who has gone to the music studio to record a song without having to do his/her lines over again?  Better still, you know the one who created the electric bulb and the the story behind how many times he had to try before perfecting his concept? Well i could go on and on but you get the picture already "No mistakes no invention , no opportunities and almost certainly no success"..

The thought of getting it right the first time is in it's own a mistake

Now i'm not saying you can't get it right the first time, all i'm saying is the thought of getting it right the first time is in it's own a mistake so while you are sitting there winding about how you were laughed at or shamed for that task , job interview , test , exam etc you failed because you made a mistake, know that the best of mankind have traveled down that same path and like them you can triumph but only if you really want to.. 

MUST READ: Your First Mirror

Our very first glimpse of ourselves is likely found in the mirror of our mother’s eyes during infancy. In her glances and later through her words and behaviors we begin to develop a psychological and physical image of ourselves.

At best, a strong and appealing self-image starts when love is reflected back at us in the gleam of our mother’s eyes. If those eyes are filled with unconditional approval and affection, mother and child both bask in the immense pleasure, experiencing themselves as blissfully beautiful. It is in this mutual glow that the earliest seeds of positive self-esteem are planted.

We ask women to return to their experience growing up, most particularly in relation to Mom, to understand the psychological underpinnings of the role appearance played in the development of their sense of self. We impress upon them that as unrelated as these old memories may seem, and as hard as it is to go backward, it is a key step to help them move forward.

If we approach our appearance from a developmental perspective, it is easier to understand and alter how we see our selves. Sometimes we find the symbol of a reservoir useful in understanding the concept of self-image. We can visualize the fluid way physical and psychological factors blend to create our experience of beauty.

A typical reservoir is filled with provisions reserved for later use. A psychological reservoir is filled by life events and the interactions that nourish our emotional lives. The quality of those experiences determines how we perceive ourselves (self-image) and how we feel about ourselves (self-esteem).

What Fills Your Reservoir?

The self-doubter: Do you doubt yourself constantly? (“Please don’t ask me to give that speech . . . I’ll look awful, I’ll make a mess of it.”) It’s possible that your reservoir has previously been filled by criticism. You may have heard others doubt you and then, as often happens, you begin to believe those voices. Try talking back to the critic, and fill your reservoir with the confidence you are gaining.

The neglected: Do you fail to care for yourself? Avoid trying to improve your appearance? (“What’s the difference at this point?”) Your reservoir feels empty. You may have been neglected, emotionally and physically, and have internalized the neglect that previously surrounded you. You may treat yourself now the way you were once treated. Just because you lived with others who didn’t put much stock in the importance in you or your “beauty,” doesn’t mean you need to repeat the neglect. Fill yourself up with attention and care.

The competitor: Do you compare yourself to others? Compete with much younger women? (“I’ll show them who looks better in jeans!”) You may have been compared to others growing up, to your siblings or friends, but isn’t it time to fill that reservoir with a little well-earned maturity? In sports they call it going for your “personal best.” Do the same with your own unique self.

The perfectionist: Do you constantly fall short of a standard you set for yourself, or if you reach your goals, always feel you can do more? (“The chemical peel worked, why not go for something bigger?”) Your reservoir was likely filled by expectations that you be perfect, or at least better than you are. The media feeds that perception as well. Fill your reservoir with reasonable expectations.

The guilty: Do you blame yourself for almost everything, including aging? (“Honey, I’ve tried everything, but nothing I do makes me look like I used to.”) Your reservoir may have been filled with self-admonishments and apologies. You may feel undeserving, which makes it hard to feel good about looking good. Try filling your reservoir with more forgiveness and acceptance.

Recognizing self-image as an evolving and interactive developmental process is key to understanding and dealing with our looks as they change. It provides a perspective on beauty that is not static and gives support to the ability we all have to impact perception of ourselves as we age.

As adults, our psychological reservoirs are ours to fill. Unlike the lack of choices we have growing up—such as our inability to select our own family and environment—we can gain control over many of those choices as we mature into adulthood. Instead of feeling a loss of control as we get older, we in fact have increased opportunities to fill our reservoir with responses that can now come from our own selves and from people we choose to have in our lives.

By taking control over the voices that once controlled us, we can shift our current sense of attractiveness and potentially reconfigure the definition of beauty as we age.

You can do more

 

You can do more, and in fact you know you’ll enjoy doing more. You can give more, authentically, enthusiastically, and you know how great that feels. This world is filled with problems and pains, but that never has to get you down. For there’s always more you can do to make a positive difference, to transform those problems into opportunities and then into value.

When you’ve done all you can, the amazing thing is this. You can rest for a little while, and then you can do more.

As painful as the setbacks may be, they never have to be permanent. Because you can do more.
As wonderful as any achievement may be, the satisfaction of achieving does not have to end. Because the great thing is, you can do more.

Whether life gets you down or lifts you up, as long as you have life there is a readily accessible way forward if you’ll just remember it. You can do more.

Save your dreams - Save yourself

The only hindrance to your success is and always will be your own mind set. After all it is only in our minds we stay limited and at the same time reach our peak or apex level.

So it all depends on the option you choose. Door number one says Think it, Dream it, Conceptualize it (T. D. C) but still do nothing whiles door number two says do the T D C steeps and make a move.

Almost everything we do as people starts with a simple thought,we think it, dream it ,plan it, all within us but without an actual move physically (you know the kind of move that involves your mouth, legs, hands etc) don't expect much to happen,  as a matter of fact in most cases don't expect anything to happen. It's not enough to have that next best idea that could change the world, no it isn't because your ideas don't just count period. No body cares what you are thinking of (maybe the shrinks do "for a fee of cause" which actually shows they don't  ) cos after all every body has the capacity to think up something......people only care about what the see, hear,taste or feel (i'm number ONE on that list) so to reach out, pour forth all those ideas and put them into actual work,work the public / people can identify with and stop being frustrated people don't appreciate your worth or creative capacity, if you ask me i'd say "you" don't appreciate your own creative capacity.

Imagine the best footballer (Soccer player) in the world just made a fine dribble past his opponents and stands face to face with the goalpost with only the goalkeeper to beat,  picks the spot where he wants to shoot the ball (picking the spot happens in his head by the way) and suddenly does absolutely nothing.... aah! sounds weird huh? Yes he his a good player, yes he had a fine dribble but no one care's what spot he picked to shoot the ball (remember picking the spot happened in his head) cos he did not show them by actually shooting it, he (the player) would have ended up being a huge disgrace to himself at the end of the day

So please, in the event that you have an idea, a concept or anything of that sort share it with the world, believe in it and give it life. the world needs it but they don't know it yet and so it's up to you to show them.

 I'll write again soon but until then keep believing and please don't forget to:
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Something for your mind

You've probably read lots of books or seen lots of videos where you were told or experienced the fact that you need to keep - keeping - on and never give up on your dreams or ideas, that there is still a way when it all seems to be going down the drains for you (seems too hard).

Or maybe, just maybe this good to hear but hard to do task was communicated to you through other means (probably an alien from space, or the cricket in Pinocchio  "i'm not going to mention names") and so you actually pulled your self together and kept right on but then, you always seem to fall back to the place where you started most of the time, statistically speaking maybe 98.9% of the time which makes you draw a conclusion that  "Nothing happened" and all your endeavors have been but a waste of time giving the amount of time you've tried and failed. After-all nothing did happen right.... right?

Well wrong, yes you're quite wrong because if you look at it closely you've only made mistakes and each mistake brings you a steep closer to the real deal.

No body has ever made anything good without a series of huge drawbacks / failures trust me even my own first blog was a mess, and i'm not implying this one is a huge success but that's life and as people we try, we fail but we must try again.

The first word you uttered on earth was probably not as good as it sounds when you say it now, guess what that was practice which must have suffered a tremendous amount of failure but here you are. Remember with practice you crawled, walked, ran and jumped. So with practice and focus with some amount of dedication and determination you will achieve your goals.

All that is required is the favor you do for your self  "Don't quit"